Columnists Say Chivalry is Not Dead, It Just Needs a Resurrection (10 Quick Rules for Men)

An entire generation of men may have lost the art of chivalry. But, what do women expect in 2007? Advice Columnists Pearls of Wisdom from Three Generations offer 10 easy rules for men to follow and women to use in helping their men become more of a gentleman.

When 30-year-old newly married Pamela Simonson Ferguson went to pick up a large box, she noticed her husband of five months jumping up right away to give her a hand. The New York native was relieved her groom did not have to be asked to assist. Thinking of past boyfriends who might have continued to stay seated, Simonson knew chivalry needed a renaissance.

Usually associated with ideals of knightly virtues, honor and courtly love, chivalry is derived from the French word cheval. It has the same origin as the modern word cavalier and is today, thought of as men being gentlemen in an old-fashioned sort of way.

"We have forgotten age-old gentlemanly qualities," says grandmother Celia Ford. The retired 79-year-old Registered Nurse seldom has to ask her husband of 56 years to do anything. "He is a gentleman to all ladies, well-trained and made certain our two sons, now 53 and 48 followed suit," she continued.

Raised during the depression, Ford, along with her granddaughter Simonson-Ferguson, a Generation X'er, and daughter Theresa Allen, a Baby Boomer, believe chivalry is not dead, but needs a rebirth. According to the advice columnists, speakers and authors, also known as the Pearls of Wisdom from Three Generations, they say it has, in many instances become the responsibility of the woman to make certain the man is behaving chivalrously. Her expectations must be crystal clear.

"You might have to remind him of what YOU expect," said Allen, founder of the Long Island Christian Bible Institute. "He really may not know unless you tell him. It is up to us. Otherwise, how will he know?" Allen also believes an entire generation of men may have been lost to the teachings of gentlemanly behavior because of young single mothers raising sons. Her theory is many young mothers do not know how gentlemen should behave and therefore are not able to teach them their sons. In addition, according to Allen, the media has perpetuated images contradictory to chivalrous behavior.

"If looming iconic figures do not represent themselves in a positive image and if young men are not taught properly by their single mothers, how will they ever know? Sometimes, it boils down to basic respect," said Allen.

Studies have also shown the women's liberation movement may have contributed to the lost art of chivalry. The movement resulted in many mixed messages between men and women. Expectations became muddied and men were no longer clear on they were expected to do. Ford, Allen and Simonson-Ferguson concur it is now time for women to take back their "ladydom."

The trio who were 75, 50 and 25 when they wrote their award-winning collection of family quotes, famous sayings and prayers, Pearls of Wisdom from Three Generations, agree to basic things that they insist their husbands do for them. Their advice, along with the following ten steps, published in their upcoming new book, "Pearls of Wisdom for This Generation" is necessary and relevant for today's time and for both sexes. In the meantime, they urge women take part in a "Chivalry Renaissance" to teach or remind the men what they need to do.

Here are some of the Pearls Chivalry Commandments to help get started:

1. When passing through a door, the gentleman holds it open for the lady, even though he never saw her before. He never passes through the door first.
2. A gentleman removes his hat (yes, including baseball caps) when entering a room where there are ladies.
3. Gentlemen should open a car door for a lady and wait to close it after she gets in.
4. When sitting down to a meal, the gentleman should always leave his cell phone or other electronic device hidden away and turned off. (This one applies for ladies too)
5. A gentleman rises when a lady enters or leaves the room.
6. When walking down the street, a gentleman walks nearest the curb.
7. Gentleman will offer his hand when a lady is descending from a step, van, car, high doorway, etc.
8. A gentleman will offer to assist in lifting items, carrying bags and moving boxes.
9. Gentlemen never walk in front of a lady -- always beside them.
10. A gentleman holds out a folded arm for a lady when walking down stairs, on the street, etc. If she declines his arm, that is up to her.

As far as the large box, Simonson-Ferguson needed to lift? Put there by her husband, it is now on the top shelf of the closet, nice and neat in its proper place. She thanked him with a ladylike peck on his cheek. He smiled.

(PRWEB) August 5, 2007 --
Written by EditorsChoice
Thursday, 16 August 2007

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*QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:

Do you think that chivalry should be resurrected?

What do you blame for the death of chivalry? The media? Single- moms? Women’s liberation? Something else?

Do you know anyone who behaves this way?

*REMEMBER TO BE RESPECTFUL

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